What About Your Friendsssssss (In my TLC voice)

Are friends a gift or curse to your romantic relationship? So, I was watching Judge Mathis and a 44 year old was suing his 21 year old ex-girlfriend. He went on to say that the reason for the breakup was because she chose to go to a sonogram to support her single friend vs. spending time with him on his day off. He repeatedly stated that she'd put her friends "before him."

It brought me back to a Martin stand up where he'd always want to "Kick it with Craig and em'." His punchline was "Oh you want to spend quality time today. Well, I had told Craig and em' I was gon' kick it with dem , see ya one I see ya. Peeace" At the end of that skit, he was no longer with the young woman due to Craig and em'.

So, my question is, how much time with the girls or boys should be deemed as just "to much" and/or detrimental to a romantic relationship?

Is it important to maintain quality time with your friends even at the expense of your romantic relationships?

Is it actually good for your romantic life to have your occasional "girls night out" or "boys night out?"

Lastly, at what point, if any, do you decide to say to hell with your friends and your primary focus is putting time in to mantain and promote a healthy relationship with your romantic partner?

Your thoughts?

**Special Photo Shout out to my closest friends..Minus Big Ang ,Tracy, and Moh! I didn't like my hair in any of the photo opps that we had!**

Jazmine Sullivan's Bust The Windows Song

Okay, so my homeboy's blog inspired this one. He wrote a post titled "Jasmine Sullivan may get you dead!" My title for this post should be "Men, stop tripping unless you plan to change your game up and make respectable songs about women!!"

Now, I've been noticing over the last month or so that EVERYTIME they play this song on the radio the male DJ will make a comment afterwards saying how wrong Jazmine is for this song. Everytime the video comes on my man literally turns the channel. I'm serious, I've never seen the video because he always turns it off as he mumbles "thats some bullish."

So, my question is how in the heck can there be 5 billion negative songs about women but men take issue when ONE woman makes a song about busting his darn windows out. I don't get it.

There are literally videos with women getting champagne sprayed on them in the club (biggie). Videos depicting women drunk sleep with skirts on and legs wide open (John Legend/Andre 3000). However, men have an issue with getting their windows busted AFTER the women catches him in bed with someone else. Am I the only one confused at the male anger towards this video. Can guys dish it out but can't take it?

I personally, have never busted any windows out. However, I'm standing up right now for all the ladies who have busted those windows out and been bad enough to write their initials with the crowbar!! For the Angela Bassetts that took all of his belongings and burned them up in his luxury vehicle :-) To the Lisa Lopez wannabes that burned that house down after he punched her.

My True Hollywood Crazy Story:

This guy, we will call him Andre, I dated for about 5 minutes in my early 20s. I eventually find out about an on/off girlfriend, we will call her Agatha. Not even knowing what Agatha looks like, I run into Agatha one day in a very crowded PROFESSIONAL place. She walks up on me and starts screaming and threatening me. I walk away as if she's not speaking to me because as Jigga says, "Wise men never argue with fools, because people from a distance can't tell who is who!"

So, I tell Andre's sister and she responds "Agatha is CRAZY, if you see her RUN on sight!" WTH? Come to find out, Andre was messing with some chick before me. Agatha followed Andre one day, hid behind bushes for hours, the girl comes out her home, and Agatha jumps out the bushes in all Black like dayum catwoman and beats the girl in the head with a hammer. Andre came out, Agatha then jumps in her car pushes the pedal to the metal and hits Andre. He flies up into the air and lands on the concrete street. WTH? As of Spring 2000, Agatha was awaiting trial......Hmm, I bet he would have preferred she bust the windows out his car lmao.

Women/Men - Feel free to post comments about any "crazy" situations you know of.....

Places I hate to Visit

So, my Soror and I were talking on email today about places that we hate to visit. These are common places but I just don't do them very well lol.

#1 - The Post Office- Is it me or do they have the worse hours? Then they are always packed. I just hate the post office. If I ever have to mail you something don't be mad when I mail it a month after I say I will.

#2 - The BANK. So, me and one of my Sorors had an all out email war because I HATE going to the bank. She sent me a $40 check in mid-June and in late July I still hadn't cashed it. I hate the bank. I always tell people to send me money via paypal or send me a money order because I don't do the bank. Your check will sit and sit and sit until I eventually have multiple checks to cash. Cardinal rule, if your check is less than 100 bucks you can forget about it. That check my get cashed 3 months from now. My issues withe bank aren't worth the less than 100 bucks I'll be getting lol.

#3 - WALMART - I may be in the minority here. I can't stand walmart. There are always a bizzilion people there. People act like they want to run you over with their carts trying to get that product. I feel like I'm a rat in a tunnel when I'm in wal-mart. Then Super Wal-Marts are the worst because they are always hood! I'd rather pay a little extra and go to Target or the grocery store.

#4- WORK - Am I the only person that fantasizes about hitting the lotto? What's funny is I don't even play the lotto. I'm 2 cheap ha! On a regular basis I want to tell someone in my office "Leave me the hell alone." or "Get outta my face." I guess I can't do that though huh?

#5 - FAST FOOD PLACES WITH NO DRIVE THRU - So, Chipotle and Subway would get so much more of my business if they had a drive-thru. I mean really, if I wanted to park my car in a crowded shopping plaza lot and go in and place my order I'd just go to a sit down restaurant. I'm starting the petition for all food under 10 bucks to have drive-thru options!

Feel free to post any places that you hate to visit!


K-Swiss

Am I just getting old?

So, the young vibrant Kasondra has finally turned 32 like the rest of her fellow 1976 friends. (August seems SOOO far away when your closest friends have 1st quarter bdays) As I rolled out of bed this morning I said to my self, "Self, you are getting old!" Reasons?

MUSIC: Well, I turned on MTV Jams and quickly realized I don't like todays music and turned that crap off. I'm starting to sound like my parents did 20 years ago when they said R&B just wasn't the same anymore. I feel the same about Hip Hop, it just isn't the same! Waking up to "she got a Donk" by Soulja Boy is not fun to me. I'm thinking 10 years ago I would have gotten out of the bed smiling and dancing. Now it just sounds like loud noise in my ear. I so miss the 90s music! Hmm, or is it just that the music of today is indeed TRASH! :-)

DANCE: Am I the only one that can't keep up? The G5, Superman that hoe dance, the dance in she got a donk, the rain dance, pon the river, give em' a run, dutty wine etc. etc. I so can't keep up. I just keep it with the 2 step and maybe add a little twist like 50. I'm 2 old and don't have the energy or desire to learn all those darn dances. The Superman that hoe dance has like 15 steps. I mean really...What happened to the cabbage patch, the whop, the Roger Rabbit, and simple stuff like the A-town stomp! I just can't hang.

CLOTHES: Okay, I used to be known for rocking my flat abs and wearing tops to show off my cleavage. I gave it up when I turned 30 due to the fact that I just feel that at 30 I don't need to be on the meat rack like that! Yes, I may still "have it" but I don't need to show it like that. So, the other day I was looking at Mariah Carey's "I'll be loving you long time" video. I was disgusted by the LACK of clothing she had on. Go cover up, you're like 40 in a bikini and half top with tight daisy dukes. Am I just getting old or is she just to darn old to wear 21 year old clothing...nice body or not!

SOCIAL SCENE: Okay, so I'm so not interested in partying days in a row anymore. I used to be a trooper. I could go out 6 days in a row if there were places to go! Now, I have the energy to do it but who the heck wants to? I mean, I've been to a bizzillion clubs and lounges from DC to Brazil. I'm so not interested in being up in "the place to be" like that anymore. My homeboy will be 38 soon and he still road trips to parties. Umm, hello? Am I just getting old before my time or is that strange? I haven't seen a party in years that warranted me buying a flight to attend! I mean really, is it that serious?

LOOKS: LMAO at the comment I'm about to make in pure Kasondra style. I'm still as ravishing as I was at 21 so in the looks department, I ain't getting old! :-)

So, POST some of your "getting old" moments or am I the only one out there....Don't let me feel alone. Post People :-)

Also, if you laughed or had to ask "What is that dance" to my post. You just had an OLD moment!

Finding New Tenants...The STRESS in my life right now

So, what the heck possessed me to become a landlord. So, in my mid-20s I had this bright idea to purchase 2 expensive behind properties in the DC area. Now, lets fastforward, now I have these properties and I rent them out. I've been living in lala land because I had the same tentants in both places for YEARS! Well, now they've both decided to leave. So, I posted an ad on craigslist.



Let me tell you..WHY do people feel the need to scam and/or give their sob story to me on a daily basis now via email.



#1 - I don't care that you're getting divorce! If you're credit is jacked and you don't have verifiable income!

#2 - Why did some lady claim that she lives in UK and will send me a year worth of rent if I send her my address and keys first? Huh? Was I born this morning?

#3 - Why would a family with 4 kids and 2 adults try to rent my 2 bedroom townhouse with office. It's an office, not a 3rd bedroom. Them darn kids were running all over my place jumping and screaming. Hell Nah. They'd leave my place so damaged. Application DENIED!

Let's say a prayer for the market because I need it to snap back so I can get rid of these suckas!

1/8 Irish

So, anyone who has had a "race relations" debate with the Queen of Debators (that's me) should know how I feel about people of color not accepting what they are! So, I read some posts from some of my Sorority Sisters about Barack and his wife and the love they show in public. The Soror labeled her email, "Black Love." So, someone responded that it shouldn't be called "Black Love" because Senator Obama is not black, he's several different races. Give me a break! This man is clearly at the least put in the category of a Person of color. Additionally, he has a black wife from Chi-town and 2 black kids!

Why is it that Black folks always want to identify with something else? I'm convinced that society has brainwashed some of us to not LOVE our blackness! It brought me back to a friend of mine that said to me on St. Pats day that he's "1/8 Irish." WTH? 1/8? Then my cousin (he'll probably read this post lol). He had his race on myspace listed as "Indian and Black." Okay, if you can't call by name the Native American relative in your family, YOU'RE BLACK! This is one of the things that really gets under my skin. I'm sure that I may have something mixed up in my sauce just like many other black folks that are products of the US/Caribbean/Latin America/South America slave trade. However, I don't try to "reach" and be something else. I embrace my heritage and have no desire to be anything other than what my parents raised me as, a BLACK woman! Then on the flipside, I have bi-racial friends (They have a parent of a different race) that claim black unless asked for more details. So, why is that someone with a great great grandma that is Native American with every other face in their family black will shout from the mountain top that they are "Indian and Black?" It seems like the "blacker" we are the more we try and fight it and vice versa!

People, embrace your heritage. I love love love my brown skin. Love yours 2!

K-Swiss Word of the Day! lol

To My Readers: Please don't resond to this by telling me what you're 1/6 of either! lol

When did young black folks start doing drugs beyond weed?

A few years back, I met up wth an associate of mine at this bar that he was DJing at and after it ended he invited me to a house gathering. I figured it may have a nice crowd since the guy throwing it was a 30 year old black professional who owned a newly built home in Northern, Va. So, I felt secure with knowing that..WRONG! So, I walk in the door and all I smell is WEED! Ugh, I hate weed smell. Keeping in mind, I've HONESTLY never tried weed and/or cigarettes. Plus the crowd was mad young for it to be at a darn 30 year olds home! So, I said to myself, self, just stay for 30 minutes then leave. I didn't want to look like an uppidy kneegrow lol. So, as I stepped over the weedheads in the stairwell and tried to ger over the horrible stench of his unkept pets lingering in the house I see some YOUNG girls acting crazy. The 27 year old guy that was standing next to me states "Oh, that is just my girlfriend and her friends. Don't mind them they are on dippers." I respond "How old is she?" He says proudly "17." Disgusted at this I say, "What the hell is a dipper?" He laughs and says "Weed laced with embalming fluid." WTHHHH

Let me tell you, I grabbed my keyes so fast and got the hell up outta there. As I walked out I see some early 20 something black folks doing lines of cocaine. When I was growing up in my hood, young black people didn't do anything beyond REGULAR weed. It was so not cool to do anything else or you would have been labeled a CRACK HEAD and/or GEEKER!! Young black folks doing for real for real drugs is news to me or maybe I was just out of the loop! I hope the youth of today are not embarking on all this craziness out here. Taking pills, lacing stuff , and snorting anything is so NOT cool to me and quite crack-headish!


P.S. I'm still amazed that the little black chick on the current season of the Real World is a former meth-addict. WHAT black girl does Meth? I aint never heard of meth until I saw it on tv in Nebraska or somewhere. In the Roc they do weed and geekers do crack and heroin...well, black folks in the Roc.

So, I ask my readers (I'm so bootleg) if I'm just GLADLY out of the loop or is this quite common?

My First Blog

Hey Young World!

So, I decided to start a blog. Why? No clue, just bored at work so decided to do so. Apparently, I've had an account since 2005 that I never even used. Hmmmm, what compelling topic do I have to talk about today. (I'm scratching my head now.)

Well, since this is the first one I guess I'll keep it simple. So, my girls and I are having a "Sex in the City" night on Friday. We're going to dinner then this nice spot called "Posh" afterwards. I have to get me an outfit for it. We've decided to all dress up like they do on the show. I know, we're strange. We had an evite for it and everything lol.

I took the "Sex and the City" quiz and it said that I'm Miranda. Figures I'm the homely boring one! lol.

Okay, I'm tired of writing. The setting up of profile tired me out for today. Ta ta for now.