An Educator's Aid?

So, I was in my hometown of Rochester, New York (Jigga Voice: "The Roc") this past weekend. There was a discussion on the radio regarding a new item added to the Rochester School District's Summer Reading list. None other than Currrrtttttiiissss Jackson aka “50 Cent” is the author of the book. Rapper 50 Cent's book, From Pieces to Weight, recounts his early life in the New York City drug trade in the same language that characterizes his music. The book was added to the reading list in an effort to increase teen reading with more "interesting" subject matter and teach on the "black experience." The conversation went on to discuss another book that made the cut a few years back, The Coldest Winter Ever by Sista Soulja.

Now as much as I LOVED Sista Soulja's book and will do a 2 step with a twist to "It's Your Birthday" for the next 20 birthdays to come...Umm, really, I wouldn't want my daughter to read those books at a young age. There are tons of MODERN books that teach of the black experience that I'd prefer her to read. This act makes me think that the powers that be feel that in order for something to be about the "black experience" it has to be something negative. As for my friends, and me we've moved beyond the Donald Goines tails and "True to the Game" books to The Help, Standing at the Scratch Line, and What you owe me. Hollywood has gone from The Mack (70s) and Menace (90s) to The Best Man, The Pursuit of Happiness and Why Did I Get Married! Let's continue to move forward is all I'm screaming :-)

Readers, now, I've been told that I have semi-conservative views at times. I just feel that there should always be SOME standard in place. If you have no rules or if you continue to stretch things from the norms it just makes room for further stretching in years to come. Twenty years ago you didn't hear curse words on TV and radio. Now you can say certain curse words on primetime TV and radio. So, when my 2 year old turns 20 you may hear the weather man say "It's cold as a B*tch outside!" :-)

So readers, what do you think? Are these types of "changes" good? Should old fashion people like me try and understand that as time changes so should our approach? Your thoughts?

Talk to me people....

White Privilege?

A very good Soror-Friend and I took my daughter to a toddler park in a upper middle-class area of Washington, DC this past weekend. From our standpoint, the kids were kind of mean and didn’t wish to play with my daughter. Additionally, they’d push her or aggressively push her hand away if she attempted to play with them. The parents witnessed their older children mistreat my 17 month old without saying one word in her defense. I rescued my child from each situation (it happened at least 5 times), however, no conversation with the “quiet” watching parent ensued. Later, I realized it was because I didn't want to be viewed as the “angry black woman” at the predominately white park. So, instead I diverted my daughter's attention to other things or I played in the sandbox with her. This situation brought me and my Soror-Friend back to an article that she'd sent me a few years ago entitled, “White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible knapsack.”

A quick summary of the article:

The author, a white female, came to the realization that racism is more a system versus an act(s) of meanness. She realized that most white people don’t realize that this “system” is in place, therefore their oppressiveness is unconscious. She calls this idea “white privilege.” She feels that this white privilege is basically a bunch of assumptions that were passed on to her as a white person. She states that as her racial group was being made confident, comfortable, and oblivious, other groups (ie. black/brown people) were likely being made unconfident, uncomfortable, and alienated. She began to count the ways in which she enjoyed unearned skin privilege as a white person.

She lists over 40 items. I’ve chosen a few that I think scream at the experiences that I’ve had. (These are written from the point of view of Peggy who is not a person of color.)

Daily Effects of White Privilege:

1. I can do well in a challenging situation without being called a "credit" to my race

2. I can go shopping alone most of the time, pretty well assured that I will not be followed or harassed.

3. I can turn on the television or open to the front page of the paper and see people of my race widely represented.

4. When I am told about our national heritage or about "civilization," I am shown that white people made it what it is.

5. I can be sure that my children will be given curricular materials that testify to the existence of their race.

6. I can be pretty sure of having my voice heard in a group in which I am the only member of my race.

8. I can swear, or dress in second hand clothes, or talk with my mouth full, without having people attribute these choices to the bad morals, the poverty or the illiteracy of my race.

9. If a traffic cop pulls me over or if the IRS audits my tax return, I can be sure I haven't been singled out because of my race.

10. I can go home from most meetings of organizations I belong to feeling somewhat tied in, rather than isolated, out-of-place, outnumbered, unheard, held at a distance or feared.

I loved this article. I always hear the term “institution of racism,” however, I don’t think I ever realized the concept of white privilege and how it has an immediate adverse impact to my life as a person of color. I swear #1 , #10, and #6 really hit home for me

So, after reading this blog and/or the article. Do you agree with this? If you’re a person of color, does this open your eyes to a white privilege that you were also “taught” not to recognize? Do you have any to add to this list that were on Peggy’s list and I chose not to highlight in this blog or do you have any that even Peggy may have missed? Did any of these hit home for you?

Aging with grace......

*Singing*
I'll take your man whenever I feel like it
This ain't a threat or a bet, it's a dayum promise
From me to you, your sex life threw
If you get anotha lova, I'll take him, too

This weekend 9 of my DC area girls and I went to the "Freshe Fest" concert. The concert featured old school greats from Dougie Fresh to Big Daddy Kane. I was super excited about this event that would essentially take me back to my elementary school days! It was a fantabulous time! Dougie Fresh is a BEAST on the stage. I enjoyed him the most. For the most part, they were 40-something energetic crowd pleasers! I got a 2nd workout in as we danced in our row from the time we arrived UNTIL Salt N Pepa hit the stage........

Salt N Pepa, mainly Pep, didn't come there to give us the 80s party that we desired. Pep came on the stage with my 1 year old daughter's skirt on! Seriously, you can't do the Push it dance in that skirt. You know, the dance where you shimmy backwards, touch the ground, and then shimmy back up. So, as I took my seat bored from watching them walk the stage and scream out 80s trite hip hop cliches (Just wave your hand in the air; somebody, everybody scream), I realized that Pep is a mess because she's trying to be 25 while dude from Whodini ROCKED it and showed us his knee brace. The men accept their age and do things THEIR way. Pep doesn't seem to accept that she's 40+ and is trying to do things like Beyonce or somebody..but can't hang! Bey would've done the "push it" dance IN her mini skirt and stilettos! Ha!

So, I know that was a long intro but are there certain things that we just need to give up when we hit a certain age?

Here is my list of things you should give up once you hit 30 or have children or get married, whichever comes first.

1. Cornrows! - I'd like to set the age limit for men in cornrows to 5 but I don't want to get cussed out by the 30 years olds still walking around with them. CUT THOSE THINGS OFF PLEASE! I beg of you!
2. Dreams to make it to the NBA or NFL
3. Living on a college Dorm - Someone that I know was talking about going back to school and living in a dorm and he's in his late 20s. Seriously?
4. Listening and/or reciting the lyrics to any song featuring Gucci Mane, Wocka Flocka Flame, or Soulja Boy. (4.5 - I like Trey but umm, I'm adding "LOL Smiley Face" to this list!)
5. Sporting Jeans with apples on the butt after obtaining a real job!
6. Man Bags - I'm setting the limit on this to men with a 12 month old or younger child and that bag better have some diapers and wipes in it!
7. Only ordering things on a menu that you've had before! Once you hit 25, lets branch out and try new things. Go ahead, put the chicken fingers down and try something new! You just may like it.

Hey, if I think of more than 7 then you may not think of any to add..... :-)

So, readers, tell me what you'dl ike to add to that "Oh Heck to De Naw, he/she is 30!" list

Randomness

So, I've been off the blog scene for a few months now. I have a bunch of random thoughts in my head...Wanna hear it? Hear it goes...



1. Kanye West - I've hated him since he came out. He is such an arrogant a-hole! Enough said on him...



2. Kerri Hilson - Am I the only one that doesn't understand all the hype about her music?



3. Real Housewives of Atlanta - Why do they think that they are A-list Celebrities? Kim - Please don't EVER ever ever ever ever perform Don't be Tardy for the party again! Kim- Big Poppa is married and is not leaving his wife. Please stop letting him stay the night with you and your impressionable daughters! Just slack!



4. Lady GaGa - Am I the only one that thinks she is out of her darn mind? That chick is nuts. Did you see her smashing the beer bottles on the award show? Crazy and deranged!



4. Steve McNair- RIP. I really hate how all his "dirty laundry" came out after his death. I feel for his wife because although I'm sure she loved him dearly. You have to have some hate in your heart to find out all this other stuff plus many unanswered questions. I mean, the side chick killed dude in his sleep. Now that's gangsta.



5. Chris Brown - Ugh, first I HATE his new song. It's WHACK! Second, did he really get an attitude when the judge gave him community service for beating the crap outta that girl? Little abusive brat. I'm done with him. She needs to have her family from the islands come up and beat his behind!



6. Kids - okay, when I was a kid I hated when older people would say that "kids these days" are yada yada yada. They always acted as if their generation was so well mannered and never did any wrong. But umm, kids these days have lost their GD minds. Did you hear about the case where the kids gang raped this teenage girl and then threw acid on her private parts to burn the evidence? WTH? I mean, who does that at 14? Then some little boy snitched on another little boy for stealing his bike. The theif teen threw rubbing alcohol on the other boy and set him on fire for "snitching" on him for stealing his bike. WTH? You stole HIS bike and then set him on fire because he told his dad who stole it? Something just doesn't seem right with that logic.


7. Soul Train Music Awards - So, we watched these last night. There were so many things wrong with this award show and the red carpet before show.

a. Did you see rerun's daughter on the red carpet and the YMCA looking characters with her? WTH? Who comes to an awards show looking like that? I mean really?

b. KC from Jodeci! Oh my gosh, he is a hot mess. Did that fool do the KC version of the stanky leg on the stage with Charlie Wilson. Ugh, He sounded a HOT SMOULDERING mess too. Can someone take him to rehab?

c. Why in the H - E double Hockey Sticks did Terrence Howard keep singing? I mean, I heard he had a CD out. I now know NOT to purchase it.

e. BOOOOOOOOO to the MJ tribute! They could have come better than that. Really!

The Glass Ceiling. Reality or Fiction?

At 21, sitting in the stands listening to the Virginia Governor speak at my 1998 Undergraduate College Graduation, I just knew that the sky was the limit for my new career! I've always been a pretty ambitious young lady so I figured it would be no sweat. Now as I sit here, 11 years later, I wonder just how much the "glass ceiling" has influenced the advancement of my career. Is this truly the reality of us lucky folks that fall in any "protected class" category? For those that aren't familiar, a protected class simply describes groups of people who are "protected" from discrimination and harassment by law. People are put in these classes based on things like race, ethnicity, religion, sex, age, disability, sexual orientation etc. etc.

So, a fellow Computer Science friend of mine works for a large well known company. Her organization has about 400 people. There are probably 75 manager level employees, including my friend. My friend is one of four black managers out of 50. The four black managers are ALL first level managers. Middle and Upper Management has 0% black/Latina, 3 Asian Managers, all the other middle/upper managers are Caucasian all the way up to the CEO.

Of those 325 non-management employees, about 90% are Asian (Mainly from India).The other 10% - about 10-15 Caucasian and there are 6 people of color (5 Black, 1 Latina)-again, this doesn't include the 4 black managers. So, am I the only one that sees something funny with this picture? Number 1, if 90% of your non-management employees are from East India, why are there only 2 Indians represented in upper/middle management? Also, I mean really, are the 4 black managers just incompetent or are they not allowed to go beyond a certain point? Lastly, isn't it strange that there are 10-15 Caucasian non-management employees and the rest of the Caucasians (65+) in the organization are ALL in upper/middle management? She complains that she has to be one of the "good old boys" to really make a move beyond where she is so far. Especially since 2 of the 4 black managers have 15+ years in the company. She's actually quite "accomplished" in that organization to have made it to first level management at such a young age.

So, after evaluating her situation and many of my own in my 11 years of working I MUST ask my readers if the Glass Ceiling is reality or fiction? Have you encountered the glass ceiling in your career? If you have, what methods have you used to help shatter it or at least crack it a bit? Any interesting stories to tell on work situations that made you scratch like you need head & shoulders similar to the scenario that I described above? Ever felt like you were put in a "box" although you had the credentials and smarts to do much more? Is this notion of a glass ceiling all in our minds and just a product of our predisposed ideals due to being a minority in America?

Talk to me people....

Modern Day Technology - An Additional Stress To Relationships?

First off, Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to mee eeeeee, Happy Birthday to me!

Upon my return from my Bday celebration in Vegas this weekend, I sent some pictures out to some of my close friends. I received several responses about one picture in particular. It was the same night as the picture above, however, this picture came out extra PHAT, ya know, Pretty Hot And Tempting :-) One email "Not posting these on FB? Did your man see what you packed? Hmmm..... " Another said "K!! You look juicy, girl! Work it!!! You should put it on Facebook!" After reviewing these responses I realized that Facebook, Myspace, Blogs, and all these other internet neighborhoods can get you in big trouble at home! That picture and all its juicy-ness is now tucked away in the "my pictures" folder on my laptop!

This brought me back to my last post on dude in Miami. Come to find out via one of my Miami travel partners, another reason his wife was upset is because he accepted a "friend request" from some chick he met down in Miami during the weekend. Apparently, oh girl went on her phone upon their meeting and sent him a request. His dumb behind goes on his phone and accepts the request. What is the problem with that you ask? Well, him and his wife SHARE the FB page. lol. Clearly he isn't the sharpest pencil in the box!

So, as I think about this situation it has me wondering how much technology has changed the relationship game. People now have so many outlets to cheat, meet people, seek out old flames, and just full out act a darn fool. Additionally, it's changed the game on catching a cheater. I can't even name the countless stories that I've heard of women finding out dirt on their guy by going through his email, text messages etc. etc.. The paper chain is ILL these days. Back in the day Grandpa could have a whole 2nd family and nobody knew!

So, how much is too much for the internet? Is it okay to have a FB/Myspace/Blog if you're attached? If so, is it okay if you have one and your significant other doesn't know about it? Is there certain "etiquette" that you should use if you have one?

So, let's create a Modern Day Technology & Your Relationship 101 list......Here are 4, feel free to add!

#1 - Please be respectful of who you add as a friend. I don't want to go on your page and see every ex-love slave of yours listed in your friend list

#2 - If you're in a relationship that you both acknowledge, then it should be listed in your profile as well. I know married people listed as single on FB and Myspace. Stop it!

#3 - Be mindful of the pics that you post and risk-ay ones shouldn't be up there! If you put one up, I'll have a problem and if any chicks referenced in #1 make a comment about the pic, we have an even bigger problem!

#4- If you two decide to keep in touch with friends of the opposite sex, pls tell them NOT to call past a certain hour. That includes text messages!

Singles Only?

You're viewing some of my pics from my last Ladies trip to Miami. I went for a quick getaway with the girls and something happened that seemed blog worthy.

So, while in Miami we ran into a group of guys celebrating a fellow friend's impending nuptials. More than half of these men were married and had been for 10+ years. To be honest, these men were quite respectful of their wives based on the behavior that I witnessed. (Although in the company of my ravishing crew and all the other beauties in Miami. Ha!)

So, while enjoying a day of fun kicking it at Wet Willies , one of the 18 year- married men was was greeted by a call from his wife. The wife promptly cursed him out for not calling him enough and missing one of her calls. I watched him plead with his wife in this crowded bar and I peeped his friend's eye rolls. They all agreed that they were surprised that he was even allowed to attend the trip as this behavior is typical for his wife. At the end of the conversation, he was yelling "F*** Marriage" and then decided to call it an evening and stayed in his room for the rest of his trip to appease his wife.

So, as I mull over this situation I scratch my head and say to my self, "Self, WHY did she bother to let him go then?" I mean, I haven't been married for 18 years so I won't even pretend to know what it takes to make an 18 year marriage work. However, I just don't see the point in allowing your signficant other attend an event just to hound him and cause him to not enjoy himself. Also, you've embarrassed him in front of his friends.

So, do you think it is wrong for an attached person to attend a trip with their boys/girls to a place like Miami, Vegas, Brazil etc. etc. or do you think that should be reserved for the single folks?

If you would allow your mate to attend, what are the rules? Must he/she call you a certain amount of times per day? Text you? Just pick up the phone when you call? No rules?