The Glass Ceiling. Reality or Fiction?

At 21, sitting in the stands listening to the Virginia Governor speak at my 1998 Undergraduate College Graduation, I just knew that the sky was the limit for my new career! I've always been a pretty ambitious young lady so I figured it would be no sweat. Now as I sit here, 11 years later, I wonder just how much the "glass ceiling" has influenced the advancement of my career. Is this truly the reality of us lucky folks that fall in any "protected class" category? For those that aren't familiar, a protected class simply describes groups of people who are "protected" from discrimination and harassment by law. People are put in these classes based on things like race, ethnicity, religion, sex, age, disability, sexual orientation etc. etc.

So, a fellow Computer Science friend of mine works for a large well known company. Her organization has about 400 people. There are probably 75 manager level employees, including my friend. My friend is one of four black managers out of 50. The four black managers are ALL first level managers. Middle and Upper Management has 0% black/Latina, 3 Asian Managers, all the other middle/upper managers are Caucasian all the way up to the CEO.

Of those 325 non-management employees, about 90% are Asian (Mainly from India).The other 10% - about 10-15 Caucasian and there are 6 people of color (5 Black, 1 Latina)-again, this doesn't include the 4 black managers. So, am I the only one that sees something funny with this picture? Number 1, if 90% of your non-management employees are from East India, why are there only 2 Indians represented in upper/middle management? Also, I mean really, are the 4 black managers just incompetent or are they not allowed to go beyond a certain point? Lastly, isn't it strange that there are 10-15 Caucasian non-management employees and the rest of the Caucasians (65+) in the organization are ALL in upper/middle management? She complains that she has to be one of the "good old boys" to really make a move beyond where she is so far. Especially since 2 of the 4 black managers have 15+ years in the company. She's actually quite "accomplished" in that organization to have made it to first level management at such a young age.

So, after evaluating her situation and many of my own in my 11 years of working I MUST ask my readers if the Glass Ceiling is reality or fiction? Have you encountered the glass ceiling in your career? If you have, what methods have you used to help shatter it or at least crack it a bit? Any interesting stories to tell on work situations that made you scratch like you need head & shoulders similar to the scenario that I described above? Ever felt like you were put in a "box" although you had the credentials and smarts to do much more? Is this notion of a glass ceiling all in our minds and just a product of our predisposed ideals due to being a minority in America?

Talk to me people....

Modern Day Technology - An Additional Stress To Relationships?

First off, Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to mee eeeeee, Happy Birthday to me!

Upon my return from my Bday celebration in Vegas this weekend, I sent some pictures out to some of my close friends. I received several responses about one picture in particular. It was the same night as the picture above, however, this picture came out extra PHAT, ya know, Pretty Hot And Tempting :-) One email "Not posting these on FB? Did your man see what you packed? Hmmm..... " Another said "K!! You look juicy, girl! Work it!!! You should put it on Facebook!" After reviewing these responses I realized that Facebook, Myspace, Blogs, and all these other internet neighborhoods can get you in big trouble at home! That picture and all its juicy-ness is now tucked away in the "my pictures" folder on my laptop!

This brought me back to my last post on dude in Miami. Come to find out via one of my Miami travel partners, another reason his wife was upset is because he accepted a "friend request" from some chick he met down in Miami during the weekend. Apparently, oh girl went on her phone upon their meeting and sent him a request. His dumb behind goes on his phone and accepts the request. What is the problem with that you ask? Well, him and his wife SHARE the FB page. lol. Clearly he isn't the sharpest pencil in the box!

So, as I think about this situation it has me wondering how much technology has changed the relationship game. People now have so many outlets to cheat, meet people, seek out old flames, and just full out act a darn fool. Additionally, it's changed the game on catching a cheater. I can't even name the countless stories that I've heard of women finding out dirt on their guy by going through his email, text messages etc. etc.. The paper chain is ILL these days. Back in the day Grandpa could have a whole 2nd family and nobody knew!

So, how much is too much for the internet? Is it okay to have a FB/Myspace/Blog if you're attached? If so, is it okay if you have one and your significant other doesn't know about it? Is there certain "etiquette" that you should use if you have one?

So, let's create a Modern Day Technology & Your Relationship 101 list......Here are 4, feel free to add!

#1 - Please be respectful of who you add as a friend. I don't want to go on your page and see every ex-love slave of yours listed in your friend list

#2 - If you're in a relationship that you both acknowledge, then it should be listed in your profile as well. I know married people listed as single on FB and Myspace. Stop it!

#3 - Be mindful of the pics that you post and risk-ay ones shouldn't be up there! If you put one up, I'll have a problem and if any chicks referenced in #1 make a comment about the pic, we have an even bigger problem!

#4- If you two decide to keep in touch with friends of the opposite sex, pls tell them NOT to call past a certain hour. That includes text messages!

Singles Only?

You're viewing some of my pics from my last Ladies trip to Miami. I went for a quick getaway with the girls and something happened that seemed blog worthy.

So, while in Miami we ran into a group of guys celebrating a fellow friend's impending nuptials. More than half of these men were married and had been for 10+ years. To be honest, these men were quite respectful of their wives based on the behavior that I witnessed. (Although in the company of my ravishing crew and all the other beauties in Miami. Ha!)

So, while enjoying a day of fun kicking it at Wet Willies , one of the 18 year- married men was was greeted by a call from his wife. The wife promptly cursed him out for not calling him enough and missing one of her calls. I watched him plead with his wife in this crowded bar and I peeped his friend's eye rolls. They all agreed that they were surprised that he was even allowed to attend the trip as this behavior is typical for his wife. At the end of the conversation, he was yelling "F*** Marriage" and then decided to call it an evening and stayed in his room for the rest of his trip to appease his wife.

So, as I mull over this situation I scratch my head and say to my self, "Self, WHY did she bother to let him go then?" I mean, I haven't been married for 18 years so I won't even pretend to know what it takes to make an 18 year marriage work. However, I just don't see the point in allowing your signficant other attend an event just to hound him and cause him to not enjoy himself. Also, you've embarrassed him in front of his friends.

So, do you think it is wrong for an attached person to attend a trip with their boys/girls to a place like Miami, Vegas, Brazil etc. etc. or do you think that should be reserved for the single folks?

If you would allow your mate to attend, what are the rules? Must he/she call you a certain amount of times per day? Text you? Just pick up the phone when you call? No rules?