You're viewing some of my pics from my last Ladies trip to Miami. I went for a quick getaway with the girls and something happened that seemed blog worthy.
So, while in Miami we ran into a group of guys celebrating a fellow friend's impending nuptials. More than half of these men were married and had been for 10+ years. To be honest, these men were quite respectful of their wives based on the behavior that I witnessed. (Although in the company of my ravishing crew and all the other beauties in Miami. Ha!)
So, while enjoying a day of fun kicking it at Wet Willies , one of the 18 year- married men was was greeted by a call from his wife. The wife promptly cursed him out for not calling him enough and missing one of her calls. I watched him plead with his wife in this crowded bar and I peeped his friend's eye rolls. They all agreed that they were surprised that he was even allowed to attend the trip as this behavior is typical for his wife. At the end of the conversation, he was yelling "F*** Marriage" and then decided to call it an evening and stayed in his room for the rest of his trip to appease his wife.
So, as I mull over this situation I scratch my head and say to my self, "Self, WHY did she bother to let him go then?" I mean, I haven't been married for 18 years so I won't even pretend to know what it takes to make an 18 year marriage work. However, I just don't see the point in allowing your signficant other attend an event just to hound him and cause him to not enjoy himself. Also, you've embarrassed him in front of his friends.
So, do you think it is wrong for an attached person to attend a trip with their boys/girls to a place like Miami, Vegas, Brazil etc. etc. or do you think that should be reserved for the single folks?
If you would allow your mate to attend, what are the rules? Must he/she call you a certain amount of times per day? Text you? Just pick up the phone when you call? No rules?
12 comments:
I wouldn't mind my honey going to Miami with the fellas. I trust my significant other to be respectful of our relationship at all times. Plus, I don't have the txt or phone call issue because he does that naturally on his own.
Brazil however is another monster and NO MAN of mine is going without me! LMBO!
I TOTALLY agree with what the last person mentioned about Brazil LMBO! But as far as a fellas get-away, its' cool. My man needs his time with his boys just as much as I need my time with my girls. Now, if he told me that he was invited to go on a trip with his boys that I know are no good on a regular basis, Imma have to ask him to decline.
Man, dude punked out.
I look at it like this...when I am out with my girls, I don't expect to be called/texted every hr. on the hour so in turn why would I do that to him??? I don't mind receiving a phone call or text, I think it's sweet and it's a way of him letting he know he misses me. I am one to send an I miss you text to be sweet and most times don't expect a reply, it's so that he knows. Now for an out of town trip to anywhere I'd expect at least a good morning call and a goodnight call but I don't require texts and updates for every move. I don't know much about Brazil besides knowing there are beautiful women there, but beautiful women are EVERYWHERE. However, my only thought about a trip to a place like that makes me think of romance, again I don't know much about it..but I would hope my man would want to go a place like that with me and not his boys. To me that's like a bunch of dudes going to a winery together...uhh no!!! That's suspect! LOL. Nonetheless, I'd let him go simply because I don't want any objections given to me when I'm ready to go where I wanna go. The place is totally irrelevant in my opinion. He can do me wrong right at home as well. If the trust levels and security is within the relationship for both parties..."Have a good time babe, bring me back something REALLY nice"!
I think people have objections to Brazil because it's known for CHEATING, not romance lol. It's a high traffic prostitution spot as well. Most men go there simply to screw Brazilian women. Well, at least all the ones that I know that went there....
Anywho, well for me and my house, when we go out of town separate we call in the morning and at night. Typically he texts me when he leaves the club as well..even if it is 4am. We also typically exchange a mid-day sweet text or 2. However, I don't expect constant calls nor texts and he won't receive those from me either.
To me it is all about trust. As one of the commentors stated, a person can cheat right at home (and I will add) in front of you so the location does not matter. If I trust my lady (and she would not be my lady if I cannot trust her), she can go wherever she wants. Just like I expect to be able to go wherever I want. No matter how fine the women are in Brazil, Miami, L.A., Germany, etc. I will respect my relationship. If the trust is not there, there is no REAL relationship.
Also, if we have already discussed the trip and I am going, I should not have to be berated for missing a call or a text. Out of repsect for her, I will call in the morning and at night or at least send a text to let her know I am ok and yes I would send a text or make a call to let her know I miss her too. But, I will not be on a time schedule or clock that says I have to call at 9:00 am and 10:00 pm on the dot and if I call at 9:01or 10:05 incur her wrath. That is way too much. It is beyond ridiculous. if I have to go through that I am out on the first thing somkin!!!
I'm with Jamal. The hell I'm going to f@#king Brazil to enjoy hanging with my boys and have to deal with my wife to the point I retire to my room. What's the point in even going? Hell...what's the point in even being married? But on the flip side there's probably some issue(s) that caused this trust issue to begin with.
Brazil here I come!!! LMAO!!!
Yes, my pretend husband will be allowed to travel solo.
The rules are:
1) a call once a day is cool.
2) No photos please (I don't need to see any chicks sitting on your lap).
3. If you creep (y'all women are in denial about this), please play it safe.
4. My shoe is a size 7.5 and I heart things designer.
Kisses!
LMAO@I heart things designer.
Based on that statement I know who this comment is from and what the hell does Durham Saves water mean lol.
P.S. I agree with the no photos please. If I see something we are GOING to have a problem, a serious one.
Wow ! This post came right on time ! My new Hubby of less than a year just hopped on a plane to DC for kappa conclave this morning. Being Greek myself I have heard the sorted tails of foolishness that occur durring this event. I must admit that I have had my reservations about the trip since the first time he expressed an interest in going ....... Buuuut as all have said before trust is the major factor. This is my second marriage and I can kinda relate to the sista on the phone . Best believe something went down to make her behave that way and for him to take an "L" and go to his room without a fight says he knows exactly why she is the way she is and his part in creating that monster. I trust the new Hubby and he understands what I went through in my last relationship and goes out of his way to call, text and send pics. I don't require it of him but I must admit it is reassuring and thoughtful.
Wow...my first reaction to this situation in particular is that the Mrs. obviously has trust issues. The question then becomes are they valid issues (i.e. hubby has showed his azz on trips in the past) or is this unfounded insecurity on her part? I'm going with a little of both because as women (i think) we all strive to not become complacent in our relationships trying to keep things fresh etc. Lord knows over the years and after having had this man's babies and being married for 18 years that things indeed do change and we can manifest those changes sometimes in irrational behaviour (read the blog below). I've learned from my past relationship of 9 years that not only is this type of insecure behavior CRAZY its not healthy for the crazy person or his/her mate. That is why it is important to have your girls' trips and the fella's do the same just remember to be respectful about yours. Calling when you arrive is essential (we would like to know you made it ain't nobody trying to nag you) and if you (men and women here) if you feel the need to call your boo in the morning before you start your day- then so be it. All that other silly business about not answering the phone all 89 times is well... just silly.
**Clearing my throat** Ang, I KNOW that you know about crazy ace mates! LMAO.
God Bless you for not flipping out after picking up your phone to 18 missed calls in 3 hour timeframe lmao.
Post a Comment