Tick Tock Tick Tock..I am your Biological Clock!So, a little over a year ago I went out to dinner with a group of male and female friends. At the time, one of the males at the table was 36 years old and turning 37 in 2 short months. He talked about how many women he dates with and flexed his muscles regarding all his "options." His clock was starting to tick and he was looking to get married at about 40-42 to someone about 30-32. He went on to say that it is "different" for women because they have less men wanting to date them after a certain age. So, in short, men have the same large pool of women to choose from as they age while women see major shrinkage in their pool each year that passes once they hit early 30s! His arguement is that older men can always have younger women while men in general always want younger...so, older women are left high and dry! He also thinks this has to do with older women not being able to have children while older men can have kids forever thus making them appealing to the 35 and under female population regardless of their age.
Needless to say, a riot darn near ensued after these statements by this aging young adult.
With all that being said, I think that he's on crack! If anything BOTH men and women see a lower pool at some point. But for darn sure it isn't just women seeing this shrinkage. I also think the shrinkage is due to more people in that age group being married. So, in my 20s I knew very few married people. In my 30s I now meet people that are married. I'd suspect in my 40s I will meet a bunch of divorced people and the pool will increase lol. But thats a different blog.
My Theory:
#1 Most women would prefer to have children with a young adult. I for one would not want to be 30 with a newborn and a 50 year old husband!
#2 Back in the day younger women dating older men for financial stability. However, it is now 2010! Women no longer need a sugar daddy as they can do it for themselves! So, that just cut out alot of the older man/younger women couples.
#3 - I personally date men no more than 6 years my senior. If your 7 years older, you're out of my range! If your more than 3 years younger you are my brother's age and therefore off limits! I for one have no desire to go out on a date with someone that reminds me of my dad. Additionally, I have no desire to go out on a date with someone 42 but acting 32. So, it's lose lose either way!
Readers answer the following:
Female Readers: In your opinion, what does an older man have to offer a young women? How many years your senior would you go? How low would you go? Would you consider a serious relationship with an older OR younger man?
Male Readers - In your opinion, what does an older WOman have to offer a young man? How many years your senior would you go? How low would you go? Would you consider a serious relationship with an older OR younger woman?
Talk to me people.....
13 comments:
Answer #1: A man who is much older than I am can't offer me anything, except some old ace sperm, and he can keep that. I don't want my child coming out looking like the Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Not to mention we would probably not have too much in common (recreational activities, music, etc.).
Answer #2: I just don't see myself dating someone who is more than 4 years older or younger than me. My brother is 4 years younger than me and I'm not dating someone his age. And I'm definitely not trying to date anyone who even remotely comes close to my parents age. UGH!!
Answer #3: My man now is a year and a half younger than me and we've been together for over 3 years, so I don't have a problem as long as they fall within the "Rule of 4" (4 years younger or older than me). Flat out...if the guy is out of the range of my "Rule of 4" he can forget trying to get a date, let alone have a serious relationship with me.
LOL, Moh, you sound like me!
Q is 3 years younger than me. I also couldn't imagine dating someone significantly older than me. I've gone out on dates before with older men and it just isn't the same. THe music, the activities, and the energy level.
I'm an on the go person so I need someone that can keep up!
This is precisely why I can't go to Zanzibar! I went one time and all these old behind dudes were in there trying to holla. Ugh. Also, why do the older guys in clubs always have on church clothes? Hats? Loud colors? And SILK?
WTH?
LMAO at "why do the older guys in clubs always have on church clothes? Hats? Loud colors? And SILK? ".....TRUE THAT!!!! and I agree with the rule of 4 going up but not so much going down the age spectrum. It is scientifically proven that most men (don't send me hate mail fellas- I said most men not ALL); mature at a slower pace than most women. So I find it difficult for me to date someone that is 3 or 4 years younger than I am. I actually prefer men that are at least 3 years older but not more than 5 years older. If they are over 5 years I start to feel like the comedian Symora when she says "I'm tired of these negros with they church socks on tryin' to slip and slide in the p&^^$! I don't want no more Walter's or Willie's" -lol
I so I will admit I have dated a guy who was much older (by 14 yrs) not that I had any intentions on doing so but hey it happened. I typically have a 10 year limit. RARELY will I date guys my age, let alone one that is younger than me. Most of the attractions I have are mental attractions and for me, most of the guys my age are not my mental equal (or superior). Your theories...are definitely on point though!!! I've never settled and would rather be single than to settle...why get less than you deserve!?!? But all and all I like older men for the conversation, life perspectives, etc.
But as always, I thoroughly enjoy your blogs!!!
~Sonya
I'm married now, and my wife happens to be 2 years older than me. It's kinda been the story of my life. The last 2-3 people that I dated before my wife were about 2 years older than me, as well (not by choice, just by chance).
Really weird how that worked out. I would not have minded a young tenderoni, but I do find some advantages to an older woman (2 years older or less, preferred).
Generally, they tend to be straightforward, mature, and professional. Also, there tends to be less game playing with the more seasoned ladies.
Q and I are 3 years apart almost to the date. We get along wonderfully. I just see many advantages to staying within your age group. 6 is my max but I tend to get along best when people are within 2-3 years of me (up or down). In many ways we are going through the same things at the same time. We can help each other out in those situations.
Ang - The maturity thing levels out (i believe) in the last 20s/early 30s. I've seen no difference in maturity in men now that I'm a little older. Think the science with women being more mature is more for pre-teens/teenage years.
Dude in your blog went a little extreme, but I have to co-sign with him that I see more women comfortable to date significantly older men than men dating significantly older women. And I think it does have to do with many guys feeling they have a lot more time on the biological clock to stay single and test the waters. Of course if they meet the woman of their dreams (or think they are) that plan can deviate LOL Personally I would only go about 4 years max in any direction (25 yrs now). Only going older than that if it's a fiiinnee a$$ cougar, and younger if she is mature and I can find things to do with her since she can't legally drink!
--Jamal
When I read the title, I thought you were gonna talk about how your biological clock got you into your current situation... lol
@Anonymous. My current situation? Assuming that comment is about my beautiful daughter..that had nothing to do with MY bioglogical clock. My clock actually wasn't ticking one bit! Ha! Funny how people always assume its on the women...anywho
Finding out about our unborn daughter, in April 2008, was a beautiful unexpected gift!! We were excited, happy, scared, all the emotions you'd expect...but cool with it since we'd already planned to be together regardless!
Our current situion is that her dad and I love love love each other and our daughter dearly! Life is great! We're very happy and the three of us look forward to a long happy prosperous life together. I wish you the same happiness in whatever life brings your way as well....:-)
*Smooches*
Female Readers: In your opinion, what does an older man have to offer a young women? MONEY. How many years your senior would you go? NO OLDER THAN 45--THEN HE'S CLOSE TO MY MOTHER'S AGE. How low would you go? WOULDN'T DATE YOUNGER. MEN MATURE SLOW ENOUGH AS IT IS. Would you consider a serious relationship with an older OR younger man? I WOULD ONLY DO OLDER. I HAVE A YOUNGER MAN NOW (LOVE YOU NATE) AND I CAN'T GET RID OF HIM!!! IN MY NEXT LIFE, I'LL TAKE AN OLD RICH MAN AND RUN CIRCLES AROUND HIS WHEELCHAIR. CHURCH.
I was under one of my client's blogs (Durham Saves Water), but I still stand by it all!
LMAO@Jazz...Umm, how are you going to say you won't go younger when you've been with the same YOUNGER man for a bizzilion years..lmao..
Yeah, Q is younger than me 2...They are slightly less mature but workable..well, obviously lol
The only reason I would go out with a older woman, say 40 and up is because I would want a sugar momma. I don't need another mother telling me what I should or should not be doing. I have one momma and I Love her dearly and that is all I need. I need someone around my age that has ambitions to do better and is actually working to do better so that we can grow together. Not someone that has been there and done that and feel that they hold the key to the universe because they think they know what will happen. Mental Note to all the older people, 2009 is totally different than 1979 same rules DO NOT APPLY!! We have a black president for christ's sake. IT'S DIFFERENT NOW!!!! LOL
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